Thursday, May 26, 2011

Secondly... (Juuuust kidding! The real title here is Spiffyriffic, courtesy of Haley)

So, as you can see, I pulled a smooth one on ya there with the title. Its not Secondly. Because if it was, the next one would be Thirdly, and then Fourthly, and so on, and no one would have any idea what the heck I would be talking about in my blogs, and people would just be like, "You know what stupid kid? No one cares. Noone cares. But thats all. Take your silly little chronologically titled posts of random hoppla elsewhere" because they would never read it and discover the sometimes funny little quips I try putting up on here. Then they would post a picture of the creepy meme face... the wrinkly one that gives me the shivers. You know what one I'm talking about... or maybe not... hmm. Either way, I'm so not posting a link or a pic of it. Because it freaks me the bugschnapples out. And I don't wanna have that in my head just before going to bed... although it sorta doesn't matter anymore because I'm thinking about it... hmm. Darn stupid sidetracking thoughts. Back to about the title!

Anyways, I was talking to my friend Haley, and telling her to go read my blog, because I want followers, and people to read this, so I can join the throngs of internet socialites who have a following. And then I can network with other socialites with followings. And then we can take over the world through the blogosphere! Woot! (Yeaaaah... I'm sorry. Tired here. Just got off of my first day of real work as opposed to training, and it was a 10 hour shift.... haha) And I was like, hey! Go read my blog! It's pretty fricking tardtastic! And she was like... Tardtastic = spiffyriffic! And I was like, fo shoooo! and so I told her I was using it in my next blog posting. So Haley my dear, there is your shout out. Spiffyriffic. For the win (do people still say that? For the win? I can never be sure on what people still use or not) And just so you can all see sorta what my awesome friend Haley looks like, I'm including a sketch I drew back round winter*ish time (as if we have a real winter here in washington... more like rain just year round cept for two weeks in the summer...)
HAAALLLLEY! 
So yeah, thats a sketch of my friend Haley. She even made it her profile pic for a bit, which totally made me feel like super freaking cool.

Also, I got a couple positive feedbacks from friends on this. The best one was from Kelsey, who actually burst out laughing/giggling so hard she had people ask her what was up. So she showed them my blog. Totally made my day when she did that. Oh, so side note? Use the word spiffyriffic. My friend Haley wants to start a trend. Help her out? And if people are like, wooooah, where'd you pick up that totally awesome new word (stoner voice here. Assuming your friend goes to Evergreen State College of course...) And you could be, Its from this really funny blog! and direct them to my blog. Just sayin. Shameless self advertising and pleading there I suppose...

Anyways, about work. It.. was interesting. So, for those of you that don't know, I work for Kirby. Yeah... one of those people... the ones that knock on your door acting all goofy-like and then try selling you a vacuum while we do some cleaning for you. It's pretty tight. Actually, in all honesty, I really loved my first day. Yeah, I was soaking wet for most of it. Yeah, I got home at midnight. Yeah, I didn't sell squat (ALMOST! ALMOST!) but I did get to meet some really cool people, I got to connect with my rowdy, insane, almost "special" co-workers, and I got to see the most adorable little girl EVAR. Like, no joke, this little girl was only 21 months old, but she had the whole world wrapped round her little finger, and knew it. Scary combo, but oh so cute. And she had the coolest parents (The ones I almost got a sale on... sadly, he'd been outa work, so they couldn't afford one. Although... the wife said she was willing to trade in her husband for one. Maybe we shoulda have taken her up on that haha) and I got some gas money ahead of time, because my boss Shirley is oh-so-cool, and I totally got kudos from my other boss (The co-owner of our office) Anthony for being a total stud and still being positive, in the rain, while some of the other guys were getting down because it was a sorta crummy day, and knocking in a couple houses. I just had a huge ego boost. And I got told I'm totally going to go far in the company. And its just doing what I do best... being odd, offbeat, sorta loud, out there, and dorky. To complete and random strangers. And getting paid for it. Seriously, its like when I was working at scout camp, but better, because the pay is better.

So, basically, work = money = good + acting dorky = better + crazy/slightly insane co workers = awesomefriggingtastic. No joke. I did sorta fall asleep on the van ride home (We were working in Montesano/Elma today.. well, yesterday by now) but it was worth it.

And through it all (or mostly at least) I had the superdupercool/freakingawesome Kelsey to text to keep me slightly sane with the stupid weather going on and no coat... She managed to help keep a smile on my face even though I was completely and utterly drenched. Like, I'm pretty sure I looked more pathetic then a soaked kitten. Which is hard to do. Especially because almost nothing can look more pathetic then a soaked kitten. I mean, the guy who can look at a soaked kitten without going "oooh.... the poor thing" is a cruel heartless bugger. It's just how it is. Fact of life, along with the birds and the bees. Hmm... the new talk parents should give their teens is "the bird and the bees and the pathetic sad looking partially drowned soaked kittens" .
...
...
I'm not so sure on that now that I've gone back and reread that last sentence... That's another "ohmy... only on the internet" moments, isn't it? Eh, whatevs.

Moooving on! I've decided that unlike what I stated in the last blog, I will be putting up three a week. One monday, one wednesday, and one friday. That way its an every other day sorta thing, and I can keep all y'all folks up to date on the crazy quirky things going on in my life. Because I know you're all just dying to know what I'm up too that often.

So, question. How many of you have heard of the McGangbang? Scary sounding name, but really frigging tasty. So, if you haven't heard of one, what you do is;

  1. Go to McDonalds
  2. Order a double cheeseburger 
  3. Order a McChicken
  4. Squash the McChicken as flat as possible.
  5. Open up the double cheeseburger
  6. Insert McChicken inbetween the two patties on the double cheeseburger
  7. Put the two cheeseburger halfs back together
  8. ENJOY
Like, seriously, no joke, it may be the best freaking thing I've ever tasted that came out of a McDonalds. It made my tummy cry from pure joy. And my mouth. Which was a rather odd feeling actually... Have you ever had your tongue cry tears of pure joy? I would suggest you go try the McGangbang just so you can experience it. It's an experience quite unlike any other. It's pretty frigging sweet.

And it's now something like 1 in the morning? So, I'm totally ending this here. And I hope you all enjoyed... even the slightly darker bit about partially drowned soaking wet kittens that happen to be rather pathetic looking. I'm going to bed... the delirious stages of tiredness have begun, so if I do stay up any later to write here, I'm seriously going to regret it. So toodles! and Night! and I'll see you all again (or write to all of you more likely) friday!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Firstly...

OK! So honestly, I just wanted to have firstly as a title, because, well, it sounds grandiose and fun to say. No really! Try saying Firstly and stay serious. You can't. At least, you can't if you're reading this, which is why I'm assuming you're trying to say Firstly, unless you have some weird form of asperger's syndrome where you just randomly say Firstly every couple minutes. In which case I'm very sorry for you, and those around you. I would imagine that it might be a little strange having that happen (Not saying that would be bad, I'm just saying this may be a possible scenario, and a little unsettling at that...)

Irregardless, I hope you said Firstly. Because I always get a smile on my face when I say it in a situation like this. And who knows, maybe if you smiled, you'll read the rest of this! Because honestly, I'm trying to make this funny. And get some people to actually look at what I'm writing, even though it is severely deadpan and somewhat outlandish to be joking about those with actual problems in my first paragraph. Kinda odd, but thats life. Sorta one of those "Ohmy... only on the internet" things. Get used to it. At least I haven't offed any furry little animals for food yet in this blog... Although it may end up to be the dog that does that instead.

And onto the third paragraph! Which shall in its body contain reference to possibly a TV series and a short quip from hanging out with one of my friends last night.... Possibly. No promises. So, about that movie series... Any of you people watch Fringe? Like, the show by JJ Abrams, the same one that did Lost and the new Star Trek movie? Yeah, that Fringe. Anyways, whilst (Another word I've been dying to use!) at my friend Kelsey Rowe's house last night, we made dinner, ate it, rinsed dishes's, and put away food, and then proceeded to crash on the couch and watch the two most recent episodes, which neither of us had seen. And OH MY GOODNESS. (I'm not an all caps sorta guy, but this deserves it) WHAT THE HECK!!???!! It was insane. This next block may/will contain spoilers, so, I'm indenting it. If you read this, and haven't seen the newest two episodes, just skip the block (If you want to find out on your own that is.) Otherwise, continue reading...
           
          So, Olivia freaking DIED. Yeah. Pissed me off too. She comes back, don't worry, but she DIED. I mean, woah... Unexpected. Totally and entirely. Sorta threw me off real bad. And then she came back, because turns out that was a future in which one of the universes was in fact destroyed, and so the Walter from that universe was going about actively destroying the other universe, and it was just so strange, because all the sudden he pops up and caps Olivia one in the head. I mean, c'mon Walternate! That's your son's wife! But nooo... familial love is definitely not that old grouches strong point. And then, everything goes back to right before universe one destroys universe two, and then Peter disappears. And no one remembers him. So, if you happen to be a Dr. Who watcher (Matt Smith may be the coolest Dr. ever, and Karen Gillan may be the most amazing companion the Dr has ever had. Like, currently watching "The Well" on BBC Switch just for her) its like when the light touches you from a rift. You just... disappear from time and memory. Sttttraaannnge. So, thats the total of my talking about Fringe.

And back to non-spoiler like stuff! Now, about dinner with my friend Kelsey... When I showed up, I was still in my work clothes (Slack, button up, tie, blazer). I also happened to be wearing cowboy boots. (inside joke thinngy... long*ish story. Saving for later) and so it was kinda uncomfortable. So, she raided her brothers room for pants, and I sorta took him home with me. I didn't realize till I got home, but when I finally was getting ready for bed, I pulled them off and was like "Ohhh.... hmm... That's odd. Oh well, new pair of pants for me!" (Not really, because hopefully it will find its way home to Kelsey's older brother's (whose name I forget) room, where it will reside peacefully, at least until the horrible, clothes-forgetting-Keegan visits again. But that may be a while. I have no idea. I would hope its soon, but I would hope I can remember my own clothes next time). We also played Mancala. Now, for anyone who hasn't played that game, you definitely need to go pick up a copy of it and play it. It only takes two people, and its a blast. At least... it is if your opponent isn't a girl that happens to know your ticklish. Or one that decides to throw in a few extra marbles into select pods just to throw your game off and make you think twice as much. (I still won. Even though she says she won... I really did. Like, seriously. Guy's, don't listen to Kelsey about it. I won... (Ok, enough of tending to my hurt ego...) But no... really...) So, regardless of who won, it was a blast. Suuuper fun haha. We also had a giant facebook conversation on Kelsey's wall between Josh, Kelsey, and I. If anyone saw my facebook status about TEAMMATE-MANCE... Yeah, it was from that discussion. It pretty much made my night. Ish. Other then, you know, being at Kelsey's house and hanging out.

All in all, last night? Pretty bombdiggityradtasticallyamazing (And yes, that was all one word. All one breath as well. Try saying it. I daaare you. Its another one of those words you simply can't say while being grouchy or sad or negative or nothing. It just gives you smiles and happy thoughts) And I think I'll be leaving this first blog post at this. I hope (Fingers crossed) to get on here twice or so a week, and just have something quirky or funny or interesting to read. Because I enjoy writing and rambling, in case you didn't get that feel from this. So, be prepared I guess? I know this one isn't too horribly long, but that's probably just because this is my first one. And so I'm not used to sit down and just typing stuff up. Or I'm just sorta tired of typing after helping Kelsey write her paper last night... That was an adventure... haha

So, this is it! Hope you enjoyed, and I'll be back later this week!