Thursday, June 9, 2011

Pedantic mostly, with some humor

A recipe for a comedy in the flavor of Douglas Adams. Also, you will be exposed to some of it tonight. Pedantry that is. If that's the term for when engaged in using pedantic language. It's all rather fuddled and mixed up and awkward sounding, so I'll supply you with a link - What I mean when I say Pedantic/Pedantry/Pendant - and then proceed to tell you what it means, regardless of the fact I just put a link there for you to follow.

Basically, its where one uses words of unnecessary length and formality in either regard to a following of the rules to the minute details, or to show off. A third option, one not explained in the wiki for it, is the fact that it can be used for dry humor. Using difficult words in a normal, average day conversing can be humorous, especially if its used in such a way as to make sarcasm or the condescending factor of said use of language extremely apparent. Much like using "phalanges" in this next sentence makes it much more comedic then if "fingers" was used.
"My armpits would be very much the happier pair if all intruding phalanges were removed, thank you very much."
 And so you can see, pedantry can be used as a form of comedic relief, if handled carefully. Otherwise you'll end up just being a bore, and no one will want to read what you write. Or listen to you speak. Or any other form of communication possible where they would have to listen to you babble like a maniac, with no real meaning behind it except to sound fancy. Hurray vocabularies, neh?

Now, onto the purpose of why I'm explaining this to you. Its so that later on, when I delve into some really heavy pedantic use, you'll fully understand what I'm doing, what to call it, and how to either; A) Appreciate it more, and realize the slight humor behind its use, or B) Make fun of it more appropriately, now knowing what type of condescending jerk uses it. All up too you, although I personally would hope you would go with option A. Just my personal opinion and hope...

So! Moving on!

I would hope by now, that if you've been reading this, you know that I went to prom last weekend. And that we ate at the cheesecake factory (By the way, their popcorn shrimp and four cheese pasta with chicken is delicious. And big enough to be easily split between two people and still have leftovers) which was amazing. But sadly, as I was eating the popcorn shrimp, I realized how long it had been since I last dined on any form of calamari. Calamari, in case you didn't know, is deep fried squid, and it is delicious. Amazingly so. And its been... a good month or so since I've had any, and even then, the place I was at that had some, the calamari served wasn't that well prepared. So that got me thinking... I haven't had anything along those lines for a while now. No calamari, no octopode, no salt water eel on rice, nothing! And I'm sorta feeling deprived... although my boss Shirley did give me some crab meat sushi rolls the other day, so that was nice.

See what I did there? I used octopode! Now, it is a real word. If you trying using it in word or something like that, your spell check will most likely inform you that I am wrong, that it is not a real word, and that you would be better off using something different, such as Antipodes or Doctorow. Neither of which I know the meaning of currently, but hey, thats why we love google and wikipedia.

-humming whilst Keegan googles those two terms-

Ok, so antipodes is the place exactly opposite across the diameter of the Earth from any given point. So if I'm at one spot, the Antipodes of where I am is the precise same spot on the other side of the world. Nifty, no?

And as for Doctorow, he is either a Canadian blogger, or an American author. Take your pic. It is a last name, obviously well know enough to receive place in the spell check dictionary.

Back to octopode! Anyways, that is the third plural form of octopus. Bonus brownie points if you had it guessed before I told you. Since octopus is actually Greek, Octopi is an accepted misspelling. That is how you would spell it, if its base was Latin, but then again, if we were speaking Latin, Octopus would actually be Octopes, with the plural being Octopedes, but since we have ancient Greek to thank for the name, it is Octopus. But since its a common enough mistake, Octopi has managed to secure a place as a definition of plural octopus. And finally, we have Octopuses, which is the first plural form (and the most common) of octopus. It's the one all of you have probably heard and seen, and its in all the dictionaries, whereas octopi is commonly included, Octopode is rarely seen unless you're looking for it.

In fact, a little info on the plural forms of Octopus, just so you can see where I came across the term Pedantic.

Talking of Octopode, did you know that often you can track the students of Evergreen by the clouds of cannabis produced smoke wafting about? Much like an octopus can leave a trail of ink behind it, the students at Evergreen leave trails of pot-smoke behind them as they go from class to class, but instead of a defense mechanism, for the Evergreen student in its natural environment, its more of a welcome, a greeting, and a mapping system, allowing them to follow eachother and congregate into larger masses, where the smokers find refuge in each others presences, and generally loaf about, ignoring schoolwork like usual, and devising more methods to get the school to allow them more freedom, meanwhile plotting peace rallies and painting Volkswagen bus's bright neon colors in swirling patterns.

Now that I'm done with that whole thing, I would just like to say that I am very, very happy I was able to make it to choir practice this evening. It's been a while since I've been to a rehearsal practice for our production that we're putting on, Savior of the World, its a production about Jesus and parts of his life and such. Really amazing, love the music, and also I'm in it, so whats there not too like about it? Also in it is Zak, Christy, and Jenelle, all of who are amazing people. So come see it! Comment or figure out a way to get ahold of me for tickets. They're free, but we have limited seating, so we're working on a ticket system here.

Anyways, was able to be there for the whole practice with the actual stage set up, usually I can only make it to the singing practices, so it was nice learning what I get to do other then sing.

And I believe I'll leave it off there, so goodnight!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Well, it is now Tuesday.

Just in case you didn't know what day it was. Actually, oddly enough its been Tuesday for a bit now. About 23 hours in fact. So it'll be Wednesday in just an hour or two. So thank heavens I'm getting this done now, right?

So, notice to the world: Go read my friends blog here - Awesomely strange blog posting (Yeah, thats my name on the link for it. Go follow it anyways and read through it. It's pretty cool actually, even if I would never attempt what she describes in it myself)

If you're not going to be awesome and go follow the link and read through it, then I'll give you the low down. People are implanting magnets into their fingertips (or just one finger) and because of it, they can literally "feel" the magnetic fields. Pretty nifty. It's a literal sixth sense, one that can tell you if the microwave is running or not. Because, you know, the light being on and the buzzing noise isn't enough to tell you that... Regardless though of how useful (or not useful as the case is) I think it is, it just goes to show the lengths people go to explore the natural world around them, and for that I applaud them. No really, I think its cool that people do that. I just don't see a truly practical side to it. Perhaps it could be used for specialized jobs, but not any that I know of, and it seems to be a dangerous thing to do almost, because if you come into contact or come close to a strong magnetic field, those are little magnets in your fingertips that are going to want to just take off, and could possibly become very painful. Buuut... Going along with the whole implant idea, I'm just going to quickly copy and paste what I put as a comment on her post.

I'm thinking if I got an implant, I would want something more then just feeling magnetic vibrations. Juuuust sayin'. Hook me up with internal bluetooth and a figure out a way to bleed the body's electrical power to supply juice to whatever interchangeable part I have on at the time. It could be done... It just would be risky until it perfected. Either create a tool to be implanted that could siphon the body's electricity, or figure out a biochemical fuel cell that could work within your body. Possibly bacteria in your stomach that generate energy as the travel from one side to the other, between the negative and positive poles implanted on either side... And then a field generator (why the magnetic sense wouldn't work so well with this idea) to provide the output so the attachments could work. Or provide direct line feed to slots on the body from the power source. That way you could keep your magnetic senses... Hm. I would have a feed out to the side of my hip so I could charge my phone wherever I go, as long as the bacteria in my stomach is alive. The problem would be;

A, finding a bacteria that could survive the conditions in the stomach
B, finding a bacteria that falls under A but also will not deprive the body of a reasonable amount of nutrition
C, flexibility in the poles implanted on either side of the stomach
D, if not a field generator (Go look up a PowerMat thingy on google. They work through magnetic resonance, which is where your vibration comes from) then how to correctly wire slots as to not have problems arise from wires inside the body restricting movement and harming internal organs
E, implementation of the slots, with how to create the "socket" on the surface

But other than that, it should be a pretty simple thing to get that all set up inside someone. Just saying. And then they're their own mini power plant. Which is incredibly cool.
So, there it is. My idea for creating a functioning biofuel cell with your body as the housing. I'm going to have more written to fill up the blog posting, but just keep it in mind... if you could have an attachment made to your body, something that would require electricity, or just allow you to do something crazy, what would it be? Anyways, more on that later.

I must admit... I'm feeling kinda bummed Kelsey isn't bugging me about my blog. Perhaps I can get a different friend to bug me about it? I'll let you guys know if the position of Keegan-motivator is open or not, and how to best contact me to get me to actually work on this. But I'm hoping Kelsey decides to bug me more.

I've decided to share with you all the tragic story of how I came to hate bananas. Well, not tragic really, except for the fact I don't like them anymore. This story, like any good story however doesn't start with any recent activity, or decision of mine. No, this story starts much longer ago. With me as a baby. At least, I'm going to call myself a baby. I was three I think... But regardless, the first event to this story involves me sitting on the floor as my mum brought the groceries in and started putting them on the counter. Apparently, one bag had a bunch of bananas in it (A group? I don't know what you call it when its the banana's that are all attached) and in the time that it took for my mum to go out to the car and return, I decided that I needed to conquer those bananas. As such, I spider monkey crawled up the counter as best as I could (Its hard being a three year old and trying to climb the kitchen cupboards. Those darn pajamas that are one pieces don't allow for much grip) and managed to finally grab the bag with the bunch of bananas in it. Loosening my death grip upon the counter, I pulled the bag down with me. There I stood in my pajamas, heroically posed, toting a banana filled bag as I surveyed the scene. I was alone in the kitchen, with bananas. That was my mums first mistake. The second was not hiding them well enough, as I obviously got to them. Having retrieved the bananas, I then sat on the floor, and pulled the first banana out, and barely pausing to peel it, I began stuffing it into my mouth. It disappeared within a few seconds. I believe that as a child, my parents could have merely placed me face down on the floor, instead of the vacuum cleaner, and I would of done a better job, and much faster too. Because by the time my mum returned from grabbing the next bag of groceries from the car, I had managed to eat not just one or two of my recently annexed trophies, but most of the whole bunch, which in my experience with buying groceries means that I had sucked down three or four bananas in the space of just a few minutes, if that.
Point is, I used to love bananas. Obviously. I mean, what kid would eat something like that if he didn't?
But then, around when I was ten (or around then as best as I can remember) the sudden change happened. I couldn't eat them anymore. I would get sick, and almost puke when faced with one. They became my worst enemy. And the only big change that I can think of that happened was that we moved from where we had been living in Orting, to Purdy. Now, that wouldn't be such a big thing, except that the house we moved into had spiders. And not just small spiders, because I don't mind spiders usually, but these were Hobo spiders. Now, those are some nasty buggers. I'm not going to include a picture here of what they look like and what the venom from a bite can do to you, but here is a link about it - Hobo spider bites. It's pretty gnarly. In my family of seven, only two of us escaped without being bit by them and experiencing the horrible things that happen because of it. But, I remembered there being a book talking about how spiders would hang out in crates of banana's, and thats how they would get transported from one area to another, and I think it scared me to where I couldn't eat bananas, and then it progressed from there. But honestly, I wouldn't blame myself. Because on top of the Hobo spider, we had its close relative, the Giant house spider, which holds (sort of) the world record for being the fastest spider. And these things are huge. And when you're 10-11, and have one chase you around a room, it can be a slightly traumatic experience.
But even though I think I know where my hate of bananas came from, it doesn't change anything. I had to eat a banana a while back as part of a relay race, and it was bad enough where I had to run to the kitchen and quickly drink several cups of water to get it down, thats how close I was to vomiting. Darn associating. Our minds can be so powerful in creating connections and habits, but then again it can also associate a horrific, terrifying, disgusting arachnid with a beloved snack, and suddenly you can't eat the food anymore.

Anyways, guys, whats some foods that you can't stand? And are there any "Implants/attachments" That you would want to have? I'm sorry Evergreen, I can't think of how we could get a cannabis habitat attached to your body so its there for you all the time, but that is a good idea.

And night!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Hey now!! This one is on time!

So, oddly enough, this one is on time-ish. As opposed to being written at like... I don't know... 2 or 3 in the morning the day after its supposed to be posted? Which is totally odd. I mean, hello, Keegan, are you nuts here? You never do anything on time! What is this odd change? 


Well, let me tell you. 


Her name happens to be Kelsey, and she won't stop texting me and telling me to put up a new post. As in, a good 70% of her texts to me today have consisted of blog related items. Such as "So, when are you posting the new blog?" And "Blogblogblog" (literally. It's kinda ridiculous). At least she hasn't started spouting in spanish. She knows I don't understand Spanish, so thats how she teases me. Aside from the whole tickling/armpit caressing problem she has. Still, she's kinda awesome (ok, really awesome) So I let it slide. Sorta.


So here I am writing this post! And I have to go to choir soon, so it may be short. Ish. Depending on how on-time I wish to be to choir... But I should probably be there on time. Because currently, the chorister isn't all to happy with me, as I seem to have missed a few (ok, a lot) of practices due to work. And we are at about two weeks out from the actual show we're putting on. So... yeah. I need to get to work on that. 


Speaking of which (Work that is) although I do love working for Kirby, my brief stint with them may be coming to a close, as it sucks away all my time, and I calculated the hour/pay ratio, and it is absolutely horrible. I was making close to the same out at scout camp. (Not really, but close) so sadly, I now know all the horrible nastiness about cleaning, but I won't be working there soon. So... thats no fun. At all. But whatever, its life, and it goes on.


***Leaves for choir***


-several hours ensue un-eventfully-


***Returns from choir***


So, what was I saying? Oh yeah. That you need money to make money is slightly annoying, but whatever. It's life. And also, I have baby as my ringtone right now for some reason even I cannot fathom, but it is going off repeatedly, and its kinda becoming annoying... Not too mention that if I were in a room with a lot of people, I'm pretty sure I would be getting some really weird looks, because honestly, I don't look like the type who would have that as my ringtone. I think. I mean, I hope. Do I? Theoretical question, don't answer please. Or if you do, don't be too harsh when answering. I would love to not cry myself to sleep. Because that totally may happen if you're a meanie about it. (wow, I'm really tired, because most of this is just rambling, even when I read it to myself, which is saying something, because I can often easily amuse myself by pointing at something randomly and giggling. Which will in turn convince me something truly is funny about said random object, which then causes the giggles to turn into a genuine laugh. So I'm pretty easily amused. (it's not a bad thing, ok?) So the fact that I think this is particularly long winded, rambling, and slightly inane is not a good thing. But perhaps your laughing at my stupidity at this point, at which point the question is moot, because now you're laughing, which is my goal. So, goal completed? Hopefully) 


Wow. That was a long parenthesis. Here it is again, but this time in a different color so you can understand and appreciate its length. (wow, I'm really tired, because most of this is just rambling, even when I read it to myself, which is saying something, because I can often easily amuse myself by pointing at something randomly and giggling. Which will in turn convince me something truly is funny about said random object, which then causes the giggles to turn into a genuine laugh. So I'm pretty easily amused. (it's not a bad thing, ok?) So the fact that I think this is particularly long winded, rambling, and slightly inane is not a good thing. But perhaps your laughing at my stupidity at this point, at which point the question is moot, because now you're laughing, which is my goal. So, goal completed? Hopefully) 


I really hope that background color doesn't clash too horribly with the normal background color... Anyways, I'm just going to end this here before it gets too horrible, but before I do, I just want to say I appreciate Evergreen state for being such a feel good college. I mean, honestly, who cares if your degree is worth nothing, as long as you feel "good" for getting it. Well, either that or your feeling "good" when you go there because of the secondhand high of off everyone. 


And night!